Galley Proof?

Like many dopes I am prey to the stupidness of ignoring problems in the hope that they will go away. Of course that is a foolish thing to do.

I hope that I am not guilty of ignoring the problem of my ongoing relationship with World Sims. I have been critical of certain changes which were made without frank and open disclosure of the reason(s) behind them.

My public statements -- made here in my blog and on another forum -- seemingly (to me) brought out an explanation, one that only obliquely made reference to anything I had said. With the benefit of hindsight I now suspect that I was left in more doubt than before I had read it, though, of course, I could not know that at the time.

Now, I find that I am being upbraided by someone I will not name, for my perfidy as though nothing I have to say in my defence will avail (even if I felt that my position needed defending, which I do not).

I never cease to be amazed at the disingenuousness of the average user of the internet. Too often a person creates an account, reads a few messages on a forum, exchanges an email or two and then decides that they have the measure of someone. From there to arriving at the conclusion that they now "own" this cybernetic stranger is a short step, but a dangerous one.

Nothing which happens on a bulletin board has any significance, except that it rarely disappears. Truth is not something which has high currency on the internet, and words are twisted ad nauseum, until all meaning and sentiment is lost.

However one thing is patently clear to me. A great many enmities and brush-wars of words would and could have been avoided if there had not been stupid private discussions of things which would have been better conducted in the open. One of the great boons of internet communication is the unprecedented combination of almost instant transmission with globe-spanning publication. Such a tool is obviously powerful and, sadly perhaps, far too powerful for some to handle.

I have no desire to be party to any bad feelings with anyone at World Sims. Anyone who harbours suspicion or who has lost faith with me because my recent actions must look to themselves for sustenance for their misapprehensions, because I refuse to feed their need for feuding, I deny the existence of an agenda of conspiracy, I refute allegations of hostile intents.

What I do have to say is positive. When Josh asked me to become a moderator at World Sims, I took time, carefully to consider my position. Having previously run a boisterous forum, I knew all too well the pitfalls and general malfeasances to which such offices are prone. I also had to consider the nature of the role in the light of the effect it might have on my freedom to speak my mind. In the end, I made the necessary accommodations and accepted the role. I have, I am satisified -- and I neither need, not ask for any other approval -- discharged my duties with care and dutiful attention to detail. If I have felt, at times, undervalued, then that is my concern alone; although it may disconcert some who might wonder how that could be ... maybe they would ask, but why break a habit of years-long tradition?

The point is that my moderating duties at World Sims are a pleasure to me, and also a task which I take seriously and, because of that, to discharge them to the best of my ability, but only within the parameters I set for myself, which are to be free, occasionally, to rattle the bars, to keep the asylum awake nights when the natives are restless ... in short to wax lyrical and to not take life too seriously.

I make this entry now, because I am pissed off. I am pissed off that my karma has been ruffled. I will not engage in wars of words in private. If you have issues with me then raise them in public. If you find those issues are prone to fading in the sunlight then it may be that they are better left in the trunk under the bed with all the other dirty laundry.

Happy thoughts make happy faces. When your thoughts make you angry, confused, or in some other way distressed it is bad for the health to bottle things up. Better by far to face up to what ails you and to speak up. Tell the world what is pissing you off and why and what you propose to do about it. Then having done so, stand your ground and be proud of having an opinion and independent mind. Loyalty and independence are not mutually exclusive, but both require a serious amount of native intelligence to balance the demands of the former against the needs of the latter. But the demands of loyalty and duty should not emasculate a servant, employee, associate, friend or relative. When duty eliminates independence of choice and decision making then the relationship has moved from a compact between equals to one of simple slavery.

I'm not a slave.